my story with Patrick Dempsey: a whirlwind journey of love, pride and inspiration

you know, in life there are people who inspire you to great heights, who lift your soul in inexplicable ways, who send you on a path towards greatness just by being themselves, who inspire you every day to become a better and healthier person, who make you grow as a human being. it’s a massive love, you know? it’s an all-consuming love, a deep emotional connection and a ridiculously uplifting feeling towards someone, towards your hero. Martin Luther King; John Fitzgerald Kennedy: those two people inspire me to no end, but there’s someone else, someone whose light shines brighter than the sun itself, whose strength is off the map, whose smile can lift my soul on the darkest day… that someone is Patrick Dempsey. I can’t exactly pinpoint when my love for this terrific person started… I can only share my experience with you.
though I may not be comfortable with providing you with the exact details as they are far too personal, I can tell you this: Patrick has saved my life from a thousand years worth of self loathing, sadness and despair just by being himself. ridiculous, you think? probably. but let me tell you this, I was dark and depressed, wallowing in the darkness of life and I honestly couldn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel. “light?”, I huffed. I didn’t even recognize light or happiness for that matter. I couldn’t recognize it even if it hit me in the face and kicked me in my stomach afterwards. I was so used to the darkness my life was, to the 5 years of constant sadness and loathing, constant seething and crying. I felt hopeless, like no one could save me. emotionally detached from everything around me, living life in stand by, waiting for the tide to turn by itself. little did I know, the answer to my troubles was there all along, residing in Malibu. it’s seems so ironic, though. seems crazy to think a celebrity, whom I’ve never met, has had such a tremendous impact on my life. truth is, I am not sure how to explain it myself.
there was a time for me, though, in which I remember coming to Tumblr in August 2011 and devoting my time to spreading my love for Patrick and Grey’s. today, I can honestly tell you I would not be sane had I not come here, had I not been able to vocalize my feelings for Patrick. little by little, minute by minute, all my self loathing feelings began to dissipate, to vanish into thin air… all that sadness was turned into LOVE, into happiness. I focused on Patrick, on what made me happy and little by little, slowly but surely, I turned things around. I wish I could let you in on the story, you’d understand so clearly but I can only tell you this: I am in no way exaggerating my love for Patrick. I truly owe him the world, he’s turned my life into a deep valley of happiness, I see love and warmth anywhere I go, he’s given me newfound hope and he’s breathing life into me, just when I thought I was destined to the same old song. 
he’s a selfless person, who looks out for others even when there’s no apparent gain for him other than pure bliss for helping out others. look at the Dempsey Center for Cancer Hope & Healing and the Dempsey Challenge, for instance. never have I met someone as inspiring or as selfless and, for that, I thank God every day. every day.
life’s twists and turns are funny, if you think about it. never in a million years would I think the person I watched every day playing Dr. Shepherd on Grey’s Anatomy would go on to inspire me in the depth he has. and, trust me on this, I’ve never been happier in my life. 
no more. gone are the days in which I wallow in self pity, in which I can no longer see from the tears that blind me. gone are those days, guys. and there’s one person to thank: Mr. Patrick Dempsey. so if you ever read this, if you ever stumble upon my blog, I want you to know this:

You have changed my life. I have never found anything more fulfilling than loving you. I am beyond honored to be your fan, to know you, to understand the difference you’ve made in my life. Your love is uplifting… Warm. Nothing else compares. I want you to know I turn to you whenever I’m in need of happiness, and focusing on you has brought happiness back into my life. God knows I mean this, you have changed the way I see life. One little sound of your laugh gets me drunk on happiness. I think everyone should know they made a difference in someone’s life, and you need to know you’ve done more than that in mine: you’ve turned it into a warm, welcoming place. I will never, ever forget you for as long as I shall live.

I love you madly.